I told ya so

This blog literally took years to write. Sometimes a story needs time to marinate before coming to fruition. Sometimes we may never know the outcome of situations presented to us. This is one that we do know.

Over 10 years ago while serving as an associate pastor at a local church, a man enters the office one day. A man with a “need.”   The reason I phrase it this way is because this was a neighborhood that always had a “need.” A poor mill village town where someone was always looking for a handout. I listened as he spoke. I always  listened.  Every time they came, I listened. . Each has a story. Some, well, better rehearsed than others if you know what I mean.

The guy convinced me that whatever I could do to help, he would be willing to come back and work it off. He needed money to help get his water back on in his home. It was my decision. I made the call. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.

The next day was no problem. He showed up, worked a little and I thought to myself, “I told ya so!” I knew he would do his part. But, I had spoken too soon. After a week had passed and a no show on the “work” that was promised, I got the feeling that I had been taken. Another week, another no show. And then, the ultimate blow to solidify the fact that I had indeed been fleeced. The finance committee was going over the months expenditures and when they came to my little “act of kindness” no one said a word. Didn’t have to. The look alone was enough. The look of “I told you so.” It burned deeper and stung harder than any whipping I had ever taken as a kid. I walked away a little more skeptical, a little more jaded, and a lot more hesitant to help when asked.

Fast forward ten years or so. As a matter of fact, just last week. Who knew a meal at a fast food restaurant could be life changing? After finishing lunch, I walked to counter for a refill on my drink. As I turned and walked away someone behind the counter yelled, “hey, are you a minister?” I hesitated for a second. Why, I’ll never know. Even though I haven’t been on a church staff  in a paid capacity for over a year,  it shouldn’t have been an issue. When God calls, you minister. Period. I turned back around and could not believe what, no, who I was seeing. I glanced at his name tag and immediately knew who he was. “Kenny?” The very man that had walked into the office years ago and “played” me was standing right in front of me. He began to tell me how things went south. Very south when he left the office that day. He also began telling me how God started working in his life soon after that. He told me that he now was a faithful member at the very church that the finance committee had scolded me for helping. His story went on as how he never missed a Sunday and eagerly served in different areas….. At a time in my life when I thought that God was through with me,  a man that I haven’t heard from,  and thought I would never see again, was standing before me with a testimony that only angels can fully appreciate. We talked for a while and laughed and I realized that I now had a new friendship that the length of eternity cannot break.

Yeah, I walked out and wanted to go back to that little church and say to the finance committee, “I told ya so.”  Didn’t have to…God had already done it for me.

Microwaves are of the devil

Yeah, I said it. And I meant it. Microwaves are of the devil.

I remember as a kid the first microwave oven that was brought into our house. It was a magical, mystical creature. Full of promise offering a better tomorrow, better families. after all more time could be spent with family because mom wasn’t slaving over a hot stove for hours and therefore more time talking about grades, girlfriends and growing up.

I should have known from the very beginning that it had the potential to  be a disastrous era. The first thing we tried to cook was an egg. Yep, you’re mind has already beat me to the end….exactly what you are thinking. 1 minute and 30 seconds later, a chicken that was never to be, suddenly and dramatically, spewed molecular structure into cracks and crevices of our home that still linger to this day. Should have done the right thing and put a bullet to its head and put it out of its misery at that very moment.

I blame it all on the microwave. That started an era of instant gratification. Suddenly the June Cleavers of the world became “put it in the microwave and heat it up if you’re hungry” type of moms. Dads could work later because he knew dinner could be warmed up at a moments notice. And Hot Pockets, don’t EVEN get me started on Hot Pockets. Kids would pop in a Hot Pocket and suddenly family dinners ceased to exist.  if microwaves are of the devil, Hot Pockets are the spawn of the devil.

Over years, we took that same mentality of I want it and I want it now and it’s affected every minute detail of our lives. We DVR so that we don’t have to watch commercials. Grits and oatmeal are brought to life in 35 seconds. Drive thru’s are now the biggest generator of revenue in the food industry. There is practically no personal contact at all from the time you order a Big Mac until consumption other than a quick exchange of money and the polite, obligatory, “have a nice day!”…..I don’t always WANT to have a nice day. Sometimes I want someone to stop and ask me how I’m doing  and hear me out…. Yeah, it takes time to build relationships, but thanks to microwaves and “instant life,” we are experiencing less and less of what we were created for. Did I mention that microwaves are of the devil?  

Would someone PUHLEEZE make me a bowl of oatmeal?  From scratch? …don’t know how? I thought so…………………..

define "success"

  Ok, two blogs in two days. Maybe it's an outlet, maybe it's just an overflow of life. Call it what you will, but with me, what comes up, comes out. Being somewhat transparent, ok, a lot transparent, this is a great way to allow pent up angst, energy, creativity, whatever you want to call it to have an avenue of travel.

  We all admit that life happens, right? Good, bad, right, wrong, life rears it's ugly head and then says, "DEAL WITH IT!"  So, I admit that I've really been struggling with what makes a person successful. Of course the first thing is obviously the financial part. That's the standard that others, and even ourselves, judge us by. You've got to have the cars, the nice home, plenty of vacation time and the other bells and whistles that scream "success."  In reality, it's when all these "things" are stripped away,  that we are then able to really define success. I've experienced the above. Had the bank accounts, had the home, had the "let's jump on a plane" moments. And, no regrets. But life happened. Circumstances beyond what anyone could control, happened. So, "success" had to be redefined.

  If being successful means that I have a son that has a heart as big as the state of Texas, I'm successful. How many parents can say that their teenage son actually respects a girl enough to ask her parents first if it's ok for him to ask her out? How many parents can say that their son says he'll be home around 11 and shows up at 8 and explains that alcohol was involved and he didn't feel like it was a place that he should be? If that is the definition of success, I qualify for top level management.

  Or, what about the most beautiful daughter that is the apple of a daddy's eye that still has time to stop and hug and say "I love you!"  And, knowing that she acts like she's embarrassed by the jokes I tell her friends and acting "uncool," I know deep inside that she's happy that I connect with her friends. If that is what defines success, boss man, I want a raise.

  I had the opportunity in the past month to talk with a lady whose husband has Alzheimer's Disease. She stated  that she was paying over $240 a month for his medication with no insurance. We were able to get him fully insured for a little over sixty bucks a month and more importantly, he was able to get his med's for forty bucks for a ninety day supply. Of course I received a commission for that. But the money was not the issue. Knowing that someone in need, with limited resources,  was now in the capable hands of some of the finest doctors available. You can't place a dollar sign on that. Seeing the relief in the eyes of this lady was more than a tender hearted kid like me can handle. Yes, we leaked....together. An eighty year old woman and I...in public.  Success? Absolutely.

  Acts 3:6 says, "Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give to you in the name of Jesus Christ."

  It's not about the money, the cars, the homes> It's about surrounding yourself with people that care. So with that, I am successful. It's about the slap on the back, the "atta boy" when least expected, it's about encouragement, it's about knowing that people have your back no matter the circumstances, it's about having people that will dance with you in the storm, it's about someone saying "hey man, you've got a booger hanging," it's about people helping people. I crave that kind of success. It's what fuels me for life. It makes my feet hit the floor in the mornings.

  So, define success?......a penny for your thoughts.

What's a grit?

We've all heard the old saying, when life gives you lemons, all together now........yeah, I knew you guys were sharp. But lemons tend to be sour. Life isn't always sour. Sometimes it's just, well, blah. Like a grit. If you're not from the south you need to know that it takes several pieces of a grit to make "grits." And once you make them they're pretty bland unless you know what you're doing. A little salt, a little butter, (yes, butter, not that stuff that's one molecular structure away from being plastic) and voila` you got yourself something worth eating.  Why not take it a step further?  Whoever would have thought to drop a shrimp in a bowl of grits? Aren't you glad for stupidity simplified? It's sort of like "you got chocolate in my peanut butter!"  "no, you got peanut butter in my chocolate!" Anyway, I'm glad someone was bold enough to actually step out and try the first bite. 

I believe that's where most people miss it. Actually settling for second best if you will. Didn't God promise us more than just bland grits? John 10:10 says "I am come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of settling. Life was given for a purpose and we oftentimes neglect to butter and salt it. We have our pity parties, whoa is me, and it's always looking like rain. Through some very tough circumstances of life dealing some pretty crappy hands, I've always tried to be a "glass half full" kind of guy. But sometimes the strongest of hearts can take a beating. And sometimes you get tired of looking good on the outside. That's why we have to keep focusing upward. And when I say put shrimp in my grits, don't hand me any of those little small cocktail shrimp that take a dozen to fill a spoon. I want shrimp that scream "YEAH BABY!" 

2011 looks promising. But when you're at the bottom, "up" always looks good. Here's to a year of grits. And shrimp.

btw.....please pass the salt