Microwaves are of the devil

Yeah, I said it. And I meant it. Microwaves are of the devil.

I remember as a kid the first microwave oven that was brought into our house. It was a magical, mystical creature. Full of promise offering a better tomorrow, better families. after all more time could be spent with family because mom wasn’t slaving over a hot stove for hours and therefore more time talking about grades, girlfriends and growing up.

I should have known from the very beginning that it had the potential to  be a disastrous era. The first thing we tried to cook was an egg. Yep, you’re mind has already beat me to the end….exactly what you are thinking. 1 minute and 30 seconds later, a chicken that was never to be, suddenly and dramatically, spewed molecular structure into cracks and crevices of our home that still linger to this day. Should have done the right thing and put a bullet to its head and put it out of its misery at that very moment.

I blame it all on the microwave. That started an era of instant gratification. Suddenly the June Cleavers of the world became “put it in the microwave and heat it up if you’re hungry” type of moms. Dads could work later because he knew dinner could be warmed up at a moments notice. And Hot Pockets, don’t EVEN get me started on Hot Pockets. Kids would pop in a Hot Pocket and suddenly family dinners ceased to exist.  if microwaves are of the devil, Hot Pockets are the spawn of the devil.

Over years, we took that same mentality of I want it and I want it now and it’s affected every minute detail of our lives. We DVR so that we don’t have to watch commercials. Grits and oatmeal are brought to life in 35 seconds. Drive thru’s are now the biggest generator of revenue in the food industry. There is practically no personal contact at all from the time you order a Big Mac until consumption other than a quick exchange of money and the polite, obligatory, “have a nice day!”…..I don’t always WANT to have a nice day. Sometimes I want someone to stop and ask me how I’m doing  and hear me out…. Yeah, it takes time to build relationships, but thanks to microwaves and “instant life,” we are experiencing less and less of what we were created for. Did I mention that microwaves are of the devil?  

Would someone PUHLEEZE make me a bowl of oatmeal?  From scratch? …don’t know how? I thought so…………………..